Healthy Shit! (Yummy Summer Drink Edition)

Many people like yummy, sugary beverages served with their food, from smoothies to shakes. But few realize that these beverages are loaded with (usually) hundreds of calories...and that's on top of the calories in their food! This isn't even taking into account the amount of sugar in these drinks, which is, for the record, at an OH SHIT! level. Here's a yummy summer drink that you can serve to guests, and they won't want to hurl knives at you for "trynna make them all healthy 'n' shit"* because, well, they won't know! Muahaha.

I can haz...

• 3 parts sugar-free Limeade (I use Minute Maid - that's the best option)
• 2 parts lime seltzer water
• 2 parts Sprite Zero/Diet Sierra Mist
• However much lime juice you want...but you can err on the side of more. It'll add a necessary kick.
• (If you want to go a little crazy, add a splash of light rum. If your tastebuds squint, it's like a mojito!)

What to do...

• If you want to serve this to guests, make a pitcher's worth, and make sure there's plenty of ice in the pitcher to start.
• Sit back in the sun and smile because you're not ingesting a universe of calories.

*I have never had angry, obese Appalachian lunch or dinner guests, but I suppose this would be their reaction.